Today was a really weird day. I was in DC and as part of this conference I went to you go to Capitol Hill and meet with your Senators and Reps. We also got passes to go sit on the galleries for the Senate and House. We went to the Senate in the early AM, were talking about budgets, was interesting and boring at the same time. I can't imagine having to sit there all day and listen to people talk at you, think I would lose my fucking mind. So after we meet with our Senators reps, we decide to go sit at the House gallery. We go through a ton of security, wait in this long line and finally are like 5 in line to go in. There is a flurry of activity and first they tell us we need to exit, then they say no, then they say we have to exit right now. We go down stairs, the cops are shooing us out of the building, you could tell by their voices it wasn't a fire drill. I smelled smoke when I got outside thought it was maybe a fire. Call the husband who turns on CNN and finds out right on the spot there was a plane in restricted airspace. We decided not to go back and headed for the American Indian Museum, which is the newest of the Smithsonian's and absolutely beautiful done. Not a very pleasant experience being shooing out of a government building like the Capitol. The police there were incredibly friendly the whole time. They were forgiving when we went up the wrong staircase and were real helpful with directions. If I had had my Can't Wait Until 2009 or my Don't Blame Me I Voted for Kerry shirt on, probably wouldn't have been the same reaction.
So, I get home and I get this e-mail from one of my managers saying we need to talk about the way I'm processing things because he has gotten complaints from his managers. Well, a) the way we process things is not my choice, they are company mandates and agreed they are incredibly redundant, b) his managers don't follow directions. So now I'm kind of seething because I know tomorrow I'm going to walk into a pile of shit that isn't my fault after I've been out of the office for three days in this fairy tale land where I had a back-up for my job and didn't have to listen to nonsense. There are days where I'm just not in the game, I work a thankless job and to be blamed for processes that I can't change is going to throw me over the line tomorrow. This manager in particular was in love with the former manager who handled his region, they were golf buddies. I'm never going to be him so I guess anything I do differently is going to be wrong. And I would love to know who is complaining so I can send those e-mails right back to him and say they didn't follow procedure. It really is disheartening and I have to question sometimes if this is the right career for me. I find myself incredibly aggitated by people lately who just don't read, don't pay attention and then blame everyone else for something not happening timely.
I really need to get into the creative arts. That is where my passion is. There is going to be a day where I literally just break and it's all going to come out on paper and hopefully it'll be enough to buy me out of this corporate America nightmare I'm living in. I really envy people who come from money, they can live their dreams without question because they have this egg to fall back on. I would love to be idealist and say, fuck this job and find something else, but I have rent to pay, I have bills to pay and I need to eat. When I read about these people in the paper who come from these families who are wealthy and open some great restaurant or develop some super smart invention, good from them, but realize that they had a big head start. If the idea failed, they still had mommy and daddy to fall back on, the rest of us don't. They had investors in their gene pool. The rest of us don't. I'm not trying to bitch and whine, but I read some articles where people who come from these families who already had it made while the rest of us slave at this jobs that literally stress us out to the point of wanting to hurl ourselves off a bridge, just doesn't seem fair and I certainly could do without hearing about it.
Well, I need to take the rest of tonight and just chill out. I really wish I hadn't read his e-mail because it's pissed me off and I really just need to calm down and relax with my husband before going back to the hornets nest tomorrow. Boo!
So, I get home and I get this e-mail from one of my managers saying we need to talk about the way I'm processing things because he has gotten complaints from his managers. Well, a) the way we process things is not my choice, they are company mandates and agreed they are incredibly redundant, b) his managers don't follow directions. So now I'm kind of seething because I know tomorrow I'm going to walk into a pile of shit that isn't my fault after I've been out of the office for three days in this fairy tale land where I had a back-up for my job and didn't have to listen to nonsense. There are days where I'm just not in the game, I work a thankless job and to be blamed for processes that I can't change is going to throw me over the line tomorrow. This manager in particular was in love with the former manager who handled his region, they were golf buddies. I'm never going to be him so I guess anything I do differently is going to be wrong. And I would love to know who is complaining so I can send those e-mails right back to him and say they didn't follow procedure. It really is disheartening and I have to question sometimes if this is the right career for me. I find myself incredibly aggitated by people lately who just don't read, don't pay attention and then blame everyone else for something not happening timely.
I really need to get into the creative arts. That is where my passion is. There is going to be a day where I literally just break and it's all going to come out on paper and hopefully it'll be enough to buy me out of this corporate America nightmare I'm living in. I really envy people who come from money, they can live their dreams without question because they have this egg to fall back on. I would love to be idealist and say, fuck this job and find something else, but I have rent to pay, I have bills to pay and I need to eat. When I read about these people in the paper who come from these families who are wealthy and open some great restaurant or develop some super smart invention, good from them, but realize that they had a big head start. If the idea failed, they still had mommy and daddy to fall back on, the rest of us don't. They had investors in their gene pool. The rest of us don't. I'm not trying to bitch and whine, but I read some articles where people who come from these families who already had it made while the rest of us slave at this jobs that literally stress us out to the point of wanting to hurl ourselves off a bridge, just doesn't seem fair and I certainly could do without hearing about it.
Well, I need to take the rest of tonight and just chill out. I really wish I hadn't read his e-mail because it's pissed me off and I really just need to calm down and relax with my husband before going back to the hornets nest tomorrow. Boo!
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