Decided yesterday to write an old friend of mine who I probably haven't seen/spoken to in about nine years or so. I feel like lately these memories are fading out and the people that I used to love are turning into ghosts. If I don't reach out, I feel like I'm going to lose them and forget it all. I had such good friends back then, we were so close and so involved. I really do miss that. Yes, I do still cringe about how I acted sometimes, but I can't change it now. Your heart is so fucked up when you are a teenager. You have all these hormones pumping through you like a rickshaw, your heart wants love and attention and affection and you'll do almost anything to stand out and to get it. I loved who I loved, and my heart back then was a different creature than it is now. I guess that is why I hate being around teenagers. I hate parts of me from back then, parts that annoy the shit out of me in teenagers today.
I have my Mike, my best friend, my heart, but my friends are all miles away, some 400, some 2,000 and I need to reach out and touch them every once in a while. I'm so glad my old friend wrote me back and told me how much those days meant to him too. Made me feel like I'm not a big joke after all and that maybe there are other people on this planet who can find happiness archiving 10 years back in their mind.
Lately I feel like I'm running into corners. I find something that makes me happy, but it's fleeting. I read a good book, it's over, I get disappointed. I watch a good movie, it ends and I'm bored. I write and I write and I write, but I never seem to finish. I have so many thoughts in my head all the time, so many ideas, so many things I want to do, but I just can't get there. I hate people who are rich and say they are unhappy. I understand that you can't buy happiness, but at the same token, if you had money and were one of those lucky asses who didn't have to work hard to get it, I can't see how you could be unhappy? If I had money I would travel, I would take more time to do things I love to do. I would watch birds all day, explore new places, try and learn different languages, take weird jobs doing weird things so I could say that I've done them and tried them and lived. I'm so sick of sitting at my desk all day, waiting for an e-mail or waiting for a phone call so I can be useful. I know the people I support would disagree, but I just don't find much meaning in my job right now. Especially since we aren't allowed to travel since our company isn't doing so hot right now. Me+desk+9 hours a day= misery and boredom. And yes, some cheese would go nicely with my whine, thank you!
Got some good presents from my bro that should keep my busy for a while, the scripts for nine episodes of Freaks and Geeks and the Nightmare Before Christmas special edition DVD. My friends and I used to watch that movie constantly. I think I know the soundtrack by heart. I watched Corpse Bride the other night. Good movie, but plot wasn't as involving as Nightmare. I don't think I could dislike anything Burton or Elfman do together, they are too brilliant. I missed Catherine O'Hara, her voice is cutting and beautiful. Great actress, great singer. If you liked Nightmare there is one scene where the skeltons are singing and the head (Mr. Bonejangles) is none other than Danny Elfman singing. Felt like I was listening to ole' Jack Skellington again. Ah, nerdy memories.
Alright, time to hit the hay, yes it is 9:05pm and yes I'm a 28 year-old. Sorry, I live a boring life, if I could ever finish my damn book, maybe I could get some cash and spice it up a bit! C-ya lata skata's.
I have my Mike, my best friend, my heart, but my friends are all miles away, some 400, some 2,000 and I need to reach out and touch them every once in a while. I'm so glad my old friend wrote me back and told me how much those days meant to him too. Made me feel like I'm not a big joke after all and that maybe there are other people on this planet who can find happiness archiving 10 years back in their mind.
Lately I feel like I'm running into corners. I find something that makes me happy, but it's fleeting. I read a good book, it's over, I get disappointed. I watch a good movie, it ends and I'm bored. I write and I write and I write, but I never seem to finish. I have so many thoughts in my head all the time, so many ideas, so many things I want to do, but I just can't get there. I hate people who are rich and say they are unhappy. I understand that you can't buy happiness, but at the same token, if you had money and were one of those lucky asses who didn't have to work hard to get it, I can't see how you could be unhappy? If I had money I would travel, I would take more time to do things I love to do. I would watch birds all day, explore new places, try and learn different languages, take weird jobs doing weird things so I could say that I've done them and tried them and lived. I'm so sick of sitting at my desk all day, waiting for an e-mail or waiting for a phone call so I can be useful. I know the people I support would disagree, but I just don't find much meaning in my job right now. Especially since we aren't allowed to travel since our company isn't doing so hot right now. Me+desk+9 hours a day= misery and boredom. And yes, some cheese would go nicely with my whine, thank you!
Got some good presents from my bro that should keep my busy for a while, the scripts for nine episodes of Freaks and Geeks and the Nightmare Before Christmas special edition DVD. My friends and I used to watch that movie constantly. I think I know the soundtrack by heart. I watched Corpse Bride the other night. Good movie, but plot wasn't as involving as Nightmare. I don't think I could dislike anything Burton or Elfman do together, they are too brilliant. I missed Catherine O'Hara, her voice is cutting and beautiful. Great actress, great singer. If you liked Nightmare there is one scene where the skeltons are singing and the head (Mr. Bonejangles) is none other than Danny Elfman singing. Felt like I was listening to ole' Jack Skellington again. Ah, nerdy memories.
Alright, time to hit the hay, yes it is 9:05pm and yes I'm a 28 year-old. Sorry, I live a boring life, if I could ever finish my damn book, maybe I could get some cash and spice it up a bit! C-ya lata skata's.
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