Well, well, where to start. So, I got the job, is starting on the 2nd of August. However, the person in charge of relo. has not gotten back to me on when the mover's are supposed to come. Just a HUGE freaking detail that is making us a little on edge. We can do without most of our stuff, because we are going to give a lot of it away, but we just need to know when our shit's got to be packed.
I've been a ball of nerves. Very hard to concentrate on things because my mind is racing. Very excited about moving, however very anxious also. I've lived in MD my entire life. Stayed here for college and grad. school. Moving to a different state, 8 hours away, scares me a bit. Mike and I get on each other's nerves sometimes and I'm hoping that we can make some friends down there. I'm going to be working a hell of a lot it sounds like, so he is going to need people to talk to, hang out with. As long as they aren't girls, we'll be fine. Yeah, I have a bit of a jealous streak in me. Can get violent at times. Not towards him of course, but flirty girls. Not really sure where it came from. Maybe is b/c of being cheated on (again, not by him) in my past. Makes you slightly insecure about other females hanging around that you don't know.
I've been thinking a lot about teenage boys and how they shouldn't be allowed to be in relationships. It's kind of fucked up if you think back to what boys were like in high school. They just wanted pussy, it's like this quest. Everything else out of their mouth is lies to get to pussy. Maybe I'm a little jaded, but I really feel like I was fucked over in high school. I dated someone who cared more about his band and his pot than me, and because of it I feel like I wasted some of the best years of my life, crumpled at home in a ball, crying because he didn't call. Why can't they just admit that they don't want a relationship, they just want to fuck you? On this perpetual quest to fuck you? If I had only figured that out 10 years ago, I think I would be in better shape today. Mike even admits this. He thinks high school boys were and still are pussy-driven 24/7, they are too immature for a relationship and girls are fucking stupid to think otherwise. So, to all you girls all across the land, don't trust anything with a dick between the ages of 12-19. You think I'm lying, wait til' you get to be 27, it all becomes crystal clear. And no, I don't blame Joe High School for me being this jaded, I was stupid to stay. I thought he loved me and I thought when he said we'd be friends forever, regardless, he meant it. Another quote from the yearbook that proves the point that people can't be accountable for things they say when they are 16. And we shouldn't expect them to.
When you get to be 27 and can count your friends on one hand, you tend to start drifting backwards. I've been doing it for years, and I can't say it's healthy and I can't say sometimes it doesn't keep me up at night infiltrating my dreams. But unfortunately it's like this obsessive thought pattern that creeps into my brain. I wonder if guys ever dwell like this? I think Mike does, but not sure if he dreams about it as much as I do. It is monsterly pathetic when your long since ex shows up in your dreams 2 nights a week. How fucking sad is that? And it's not like I even care much anymore, my brain keeps bringing him back in my dreams. It's enough to drive you nutz. At least I have Rollins to occupy the other 3 nights. For someone I've met twice and e-mailed with about 5 times, in my brain, he's a friend and ally and those dreams wake me up with a big smile.
Can't wait to have a 24 hour weight-room at the new apartment. Can get rid of these flab blob arms. Boo to flappy blob arms and good night to you. Sleep tight and wishes for dreams free of ex's.
I've been a ball of nerves. Very hard to concentrate on things because my mind is racing. Very excited about moving, however very anxious also. I've lived in MD my entire life. Stayed here for college and grad. school. Moving to a different state, 8 hours away, scares me a bit. Mike and I get on each other's nerves sometimes and I'm hoping that we can make some friends down there. I'm going to be working a hell of a lot it sounds like, so he is going to need people to talk to, hang out with. As long as they aren't girls, we'll be fine. Yeah, I have a bit of a jealous streak in me. Can get violent at times. Not towards him of course, but flirty girls. Not really sure where it came from. Maybe is b/c of being cheated on (again, not by him) in my past. Makes you slightly insecure about other females hanging around that you don't know.
I've been thinking a lot about teenage boys and how they shouldn't be allowed to be in relationships. It's kind of fucked up if you think back to what boys were like in high school. They just wanted pussy, it's like this quest. Everything else out of their mouth is lies to get to pussy. Maybe I'm a little jaded, but I really feel like I was fucked over in high school. I dated someone who cared more about his band and his pot than me, and because of it I feel like I wasted some of the best years of my life, crumpled at home in a ball, crying because he didn't call. Why can't they just admit that they don't want a relationship, they just want to fuck you? On this perpetual quest to fuck you? If I had only figured that out 10 years ago, I think I would be in better shape today. Mike even admits this. He thinks high school boys were and still are pussy-driven 24/7, they are too immature for a relationship and girls are fucking stupid to think otherwise. So, to all you girls all across the land, don't trust anything with a dick between the ages of 12-19. You think I'm lying, wait til' you get to be 27, it all becomes crystal clear. And no, I don't blame Joe High School for me being this jaded, I was stupid to stay. I thought he loved me and I thought when he said we'd be friends forever, regardless, he meant it. Another quote from the yearbook that proves the point that people can't be accountable for things they say when they are 16. And we shouldn't expect them to.
When you get to be 27 and can count your friends on one hand, you tend to start drifting backwards. I've been doing it for years, and I can't say it's healthy and I can't say sometimes it doesn't keep me up at night infiltrating my dreams. But unfortunately it's like this obsessive thought pattern that creeps into my brain. I wonder if guys ever dwell like this? I think Mike does, but not sure if he dreams about it as much as I do. It is monsterly pathetic when your long since ex shows up in your dreams 2 nights a week. How fucking sad is that? And it's not like I even care much anymore, my brain keeps bringing him back in my dreams. It's enough to drive you nutz. At least I have Rollins to occupy the other 3 nights. For someone I've met twice and e-mailed with about 5 times, in my brain, he's a friend and ally and those dreams wake me up with a big smile.
Can't wait to have a 24 hour weight-room at the new apartment. Can get rid of these flab blob arms. Boo to flappy blob arms and good night to you. Sleep tight and wishes for dreams free of ex's.
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